Just a tiny update for now...

A lot of things have been needing my attention this last week.  Everything is okay, kitties are slowly getting better.  It seems that this virus just has to play itself out much like the human influenza virus.

I am doing much better now.  I think I am regaining my perspective.  My concert trip helped me a lot.  A wise and beautiful woman said ".. sometimes I just need to stew in my own juices until I'm ready to take action. Perhaps you're the same way. Embrace it, babe. Just ride the wave. Really. There's no use fighting it, or getting angry with yourself because that year is over and done with. Once you are able to acknowledge it, and understand what it is that paralizes you, it will be easy to take action. And Joy, it is not a waste of time..you know why? because after a year like that, you're going to move with gusto."

Gusto.

I like that word. 

I really like that word.

Mmm...it tastes good to say it.

I hope to prove you right, SweetE.  I am doing some stewin' for sure and I don't know what my next move should be.  But I am in desperate need of direction and resolution. I am definitely storing up some energy for action. I am looking forward to a new phase.

Above all I am conscious that life is good...or rather, I am lucky because it has been good for me.  Life has been more good to me than not.  I have been lucky in life in so many ways.  I have love in my life.  I have been blessed to see incomprehensible beauty and inspiration in simple yet magnificent things.  I can be delighted for hours by the wonderment of what I see.  I feel ecstasy in music that makes me literally dizzy and without fear.  I am loved and I love in return so real I can feel it in my arms as if I could grasp it and in my jaws as if I could bite it.  Is there something MORE than these things?  Is there anything greater that I should be ever be grieved for something more?

I am lucky to be so full.